MY Super awesome 14 year old & what she say about Hate on her hair…

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As a little girl growing up I didn’t look like my mom. My mom is a lighter tone woman with beautiful type 2c/3a hair that was always either bone straight and when wet it was curly. You see, my mother is Multicultural and my dad is African American he had a darker complexion. When I was a little girl I wanted to looked just like my mom. I wanted her lighter skin and most of all I wanted her beautiful jet black curly fine hair or as the African community would say (GOOD HAIR). Everyone everywhere loved my skin and most of all I wanted her beautiful jet black curly fine hair or as the African community would say (GOOD HAIR). Everyone everywhere loved my mom’s hair, I brought her. I wanted that kind of stares and the oh and ah women and men would give my mom when they would see her. Everyone, everywhere loved my mom’s hair, I mean why wouldn’t they sh was and gorgeous still is and her hair just enhanced her beauty and made her smile even brighter. I wanted that kind of stares and the oh and ah women and men would give my mom when they would see her. I mean, why wouldn’t they she was and  still is gorgeous and her hair just enhanced her beauty and made her smile even brighter. I wanted that kind of stares and the oh and ah women and men would give my mom when they would see her.

I grew up in the 80’s and if you grew up in the 80’s you will understand when I say the lighter the better for back then. Think back of the  “Precious” movie when Precious would daydream of having a light skin tone boyfriend just because she wants the a baby with “Good Hair”.  Good Hair those two words together sticks out doesn’t it? And when you hear those words together as a description of having a light skin tone boyfriend just because she wants a baby with “Good Hair”.  Good Hair those two words together sticks out doesn’t it? And when you hear those words together as a description of having a light skin tone boyfriend just because she wants a baby with “Good Hair”.  Good Hair those two words together sticks out doesn’t it? And when you hear those words together as a description of an African American woman with fine soft hair. When people think of Good hair it usually comes on ahead of a lighter tone person at times people would assume you must be multicultural to have soft hair. Growing up, I would tell my mom that she was pretty and I wanted to have hair like her. But my mom would tell me I am beautiful and so is my hair; of course, people would tell me otherwise. I was called a nappy head, four eyes (wearing glasses), dark skin  and this is just to name a few. Most of the mean marks were from my very own family members. Outsiders were a bit worse though; I would hear remarks such as “Why you don’t look like your mom?” “Why you don’t have hair like her?” Even though my mother and father constantly remind me of how beautiful I was the insults and rude questions were embedded in the back of my head. So I wanted and seek for “Good Hair” I relaxed, chop and weaved my hair until I was 19. Then I let go of the weaves and only relaxed my hair. My first relaxer was at the age on 10. Yes, I said 10 years old. No, I didn’t relax my hair a family member relaxed my hair one day while my mother was at work. smh. in order to keep my hair from falling out my family member and mom had to maintain my hair. Once I enter high school I learn how to relax my own hair and boy did I relax the hell out of my hair. I would not wait the 6-8 weeks to relax the new growth as soon as I saw a curl I would run out, get a relaxer and slap in onto my very little new growth. Yes, queens I was addicted to my hair being bone straight I didn’t care about the health of my hair I just wanted the straight look. Then I began to add a huge amount of heat to my hair; I mean I would  press my hair every day before school. I did not like my thick curly hair. I wouldn’t accept it for the life of me.

     One day I asked my mom could I get my hair cut just like Halle Barry in the movie “Boomerang” I was about 16 or 17 years old when I wanted my first hair cut. I received all kinds negative comments that came at full force. The back of my hair would grow rapidly and the curls were popping nothing laid my curls down and kids in school and my’so-called friends would tell me my hair was nappy. I would hate going to school because of my short kinky-curly hair. See for most people hair changes a person and can either make or break a person self-esteem. Back then people use the word nappy and black in the same sentence was a sign of disrespect and label as a negative in the Black community.

Let’s fast ward a bit, Today I have two beautiful daughters. My oldest baby is 13 years old and had always had kinky curly hair type 4a/4b. My 4-year-old baby has my mom grain of hair type 2c/3a hair. I have type 3c hair and I big chop in 2013 after I bleached and relaxed my entire head hair in 2012. I know queens lol (bad Idea) Thank Goodness I still had edges. But nonetheless, I went to the salon and gotten all of my hair cut off after the only transition for 2 months I had a regular hair cut. I was at work on Friday with relaxed hair touching my neck and shoulders. On Monday upon my return with a number 1 barber hair cut my co-workers told me I look like a little boy. Yes, my family and co-workers even my facebook friends said I shouldn’t have cut my hair off and I look like a dude. Let me tell you I loved my hair more because it was short, sassy and most of all healthy the negative comments did not hurt my feelings as it once did when I was a teenager; when I cut my hair I gain self-acceptance and, even more, self-respect. My 13 y/o who name is Taylor was 11 years old at the time I cut my hair and when I came home she just stared with her big pretty brown eyes; after I been one-month natural she asked me why I cut all my hair off? She asked, Aren’t you afraid of what people might say ?” “People are going to laugh, ain’t that going to hurt your feelings?”. I simply told my baby, when I made a decision cut my hair and change my life I made it for me and not anyone else. If, I walk around making everyone else happy who will care enough to make me happy. I wanted to cut my relaxed hair and start over without relaxing my hair. I want to get to know my hair in it’s natural state and make my hair healthy not get stylish. The style will fall into place but for health reasons and as long as I’m happy who cares what people say or think. It’s Hair. it’s only hair, Taylor. She looked at me and smiled, “then she came to me and said can I return back to natural.” I want to look like you. instantly I thought about me wanting to look like my mother and how much it meant to me to look like her and to be accepted. Kids are cruel and I didn’t want my child to go through what I’ve been through. I explain once I cut her hair and all that comes with it. I even showed her the text and facebook comments I received after I cut my hair and post it on social media. My then 11-year-old daughter understood and said, “Go for it” I have good grades and I’m beautiful who cares what anyone say.”